This from my stepdaughter:
"I wish that Nate was still safe in your tummy so that you would be happy again."
Yeah, me too.
I guess that I'm not hiding things as well as I thought.
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I lost my baby son, Nathaniel, on February 3rd, 2006, four days after his birth. I'm a mommy in mourning and this is my pensieve.
About Me
- Laura
- I'm a 33 year old professional flutist married to an accountant and living in southern Missouri. I lost my son, Nate, to a placental abruption at 40 weeks. Hope was found and lost again with a miscarriage in September 2006. On October 18th, 2007, Nate's little brother,Ben, arrived safely. I'm learning to be a mom to two boys--one here and one there.
Love you, Natey.
My Daily Reads
- Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory
- A Pregnancy After a Stillbirth ~ Monica
- Certainly Not Cool Enough to Blog~Kristin
- Dead Baby Jokes ~ Niobe
- Discovering Me~Michelle
- Eight Million Pieces~Delphi
- Everything is Under Control~Catherine
- Healing Arts~Artblog
- It's Really Me~BethGo
- Life After...~Nervous Kitty
- Life Can Be a Shit ~ Brenda
- Little Birdie
- The Mad Mommy
- Missing Speed Jr.~Emma's Mum
- Moksha~Rosepetal
- Natalie & Julian~Alysse
- Nicolas' Garden~Kate
- No Matter How Small~Aurelia Cotta
- No, I will never be "over" it~Julie
- Rach: The Wandering Blog
- Ryan Was Here~Sherry
- Spiraling Into Control~Bronwyn
- Subtle Shade of Green ~ Kathy McC
- Surviving My Loss~Sarah
- The Sensual Life ~ Roxanne
- Three Minute Palaver~Clare
- Trying to Have a Baby That Lives~WTF
Cooking Stuff
Get My Knit On
8 comments:
(((((hugs)))))
I'm sorry Nate isn't with you. It's just not right.
You can't hide anything from them after about the age of 2. Your stepdaughter sounds like a real sweetie.
(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
Sometimes it's hard to hide a pain this huge.
(((((((hugs))))))) I wish he was too.
No, you can't hide this pain. Kids know what is going on...but they make it through anyway.
Gracie would make occasional comments like that (still does) that would just rip me to shreads. I remember telling dh when G said something (she wasn't quite 2 yet) that she got it more than many of the adults I knew and had talked to. They see it even when you think you aren't showing it. I've come to decide that's not all bad. I think kids need to understand life and reality. My parents hid stuff from me and also made me keep secrets about stuff that went on in our family and all it did is make me uncomfortable with reality and the truth. It made me ashamed of things I didn't need to be ashamed of. I decided I'm not doing that to my daughter...
Hugs to you. It's not easy when they see through you like that.
I was reading your blog and I'm so sorry!!! I really am (I think you may be tired of hearing (reading) that!!)....but I think you're really brave and strong, and I know you're going to be better and better!!!
I'll continue reading you!!!
And don't punish yourself that much (feeling like a bitch and so), I think you're a really nice person, and telling your true feelings doesn't make you bad, AT ALL!!!
Best of wishes for you!!
oh that brings tears to my eyes. What a sweet thing to say.
I think I am hiding things too -- but I am sure I am not doing a very good job (I know I am not trying that hard). Even though it probably broke your heart - what a sweet thing for her to say.
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