Monday, March 27, 2006

Okay, Here I Go...

So I'm blogging. I've always thought that bloggers were super clever people, who had thoughts so profound that everyone wants to read them. Are my thoughts blog-worthy? I don't know, but whether or not anyone wants to read them, I need to get them sorted out. My brain won't shut up. Damn, that sounds crazy. Lately I've been walking around, talking to myself and bursting into tears at random and usually inappropriate moments -- still sounds crazy. There is nothing organically wrong with me, though. My baby died. He died. My sweet Nate.

So this is what mourning is like. Really mourning to the depths of your soul. And what sucks is that I've only just started this shitty journey--I lost my son seven weeks ago. So I have seven weeks of thoughts that I need to get organized. I'll probably start a lot of posts with, "The other day blah, blah, blah...." And hopefully, all my posts won't be about sad baby stuff. There is good stuff, too. I'm thankful that I am able to appreciate the funny and the silly and the beautiful, because those things are still happening in my life. And someday I'm going to tell you about my sweet son. He was definately a good thing and I'm so thankful for the time that we had him, however brief it was.

2 comments:

msfitzita said...

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))) Laura. I'm glad you've found a way to get all your thoughts out - especially when I know how many awful ones there are to rattle around inside your head.

I would love to hear about your sweet little Nate when you're ready. In the meantime I'll just keep reading.

:)

Artblog said...

So sorry for you Laura! My daughter left me February 24th... I know how you feel...

If you ever need to talk, your welcome to email me. ed160973@yahoo.com

Kind Regards.