Monday, April 24, 2006


This weekend was so much better than last, thank goodness.

My whole family went down to Eureka Springs, Arkansas to see my sister renew her vows to her husband. She ran off down there five years ago, got married, then didn't tell the family for two weeks. We didn't like this guy at all--that's why she didn't tell anyone. All hell broke loose when she told us--holy shit. We gave this marriage about six months.

Five years later, we absolutely adore this guy. He thinks my sister is a living goddess. They are still so much in love and they have a wonderful marriage. So, since we all missed the hitchery the first time, my mom decided that a re-enactment was in order. It was held at the same place as the original--Judge Roy Bean's Old Time Photos and Legal Weddings. No lie. They wore jeans and t-shirts, just like the first time--it was great. The original wedding reception was nachos and beer at the bar across the street, but this time it was at the Catfish Cabin for All-U-Can-Eat seafood. Awesome.

We spent the day looking in all the cool little boutiques and ended up at the Crescent Hotel to have drinks. The bar at the Crescent has balcony seating that overlooks the valley--it's absolutely beautiful. I sat there with my sisters, my mom and step-mom laughing and talking and having a wonderful time, and I realized how long it had been since I had thought about Nate. I was drinking my Fat Tire and laughing so hard my stomach hurt, and suddenly felt bad. But just for a second. Nate heard me laugh all the time--I know that he would want me to keep laughing. Being sad all the time is so exhausting--this day really re-charged me, I needed it so badly.

On Sunday, Tom and I skipped church and went on a 13-mile bike ride. My town has a system of wonderful trails for bikers and runners called the Ozark Greenways and they are so beautiful. It's just a moment of zen using these trails. So after a long bike ride, we grilled out filet mignon and had a huge lunch, then took a nap. A storm was rolling in and I lay there with a full tummy and sore legs, listening to the thunder and feeling the breeze come in through the windows and thought, this is almost perfect. If only I had a baby to cuddle with, it would be perfect. Someday, I will. And when that happens, there will still be bike rides and thunderstorms and spring breezes and steak dinners and naps with my husband--my perfect day.


MB said...

Sounds like a lovely weekend. You deserve it.

delphi said...

And that is the only comfort (though I will never admit it to the non-bereaved...I have a wonderful husband who loves me and makes life worthwhile. And it sounds like you do, too.

kate said...

I am glad you had a good weekend. Judge Rory's Legal Weddings!? That is so cool.

It's true, being sad all the time is exhausting -- and i am glad you had a break from it, surrounded by those you love.

We took a nice trip 6 weeks after Nicolas died -- it was good, somehow, to clear the head a bit, and to see something new. Doesn't *fix* anything, but kind of gives you a reprive from being trapped in the same bad headspace all the time.

msfitzita said...

Thank you for reminding me that Thomas heard me laugh all the time - and would most certainly want to keep on hearing it. :)

I'm so glad you had such a wonderful weekend. It's like being re-born when you find yourself able to start enjoying the little things again. You deserve that and I'm glad you found it.


the ockers said...

I think it's great you had an excellent weekend. Just what you needed.