Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Thank you for all of the happy, happy comments! Things are fine here. Still pregnant, no spotting (which by this point I was spotting daily with Chip), taking two naps a day and the only things that I want to eat are pop tarts, waffles and Life cereal. It's the breakfast, lunch and dinner of champions. Pretty much everything is grossing me out--in fact, there's some cat puke in my laundry room that's been there for an hour and a half. I need to put in a load of undies soon, and there's only so many times that I can step over that stuff. So, I'll get right on that.

I feel bad for my husband, he's hungry. But I think that in the past couple of days he's figured out that if he wants to eat something other than the previously listed items, he's gonna have to cook it himself. Also, my house is dirty. We had a huge fight about this on Sunday--but I think that it had something to do with the fact that we'd been watching How Clean is Your House on BBC and he likened our fridge to one on the show. This makes him sound like a total caveman, but I mean, shit, I'm home all day. My house should at least be clean. I'm tired though. I think after the Big Argument, he's understanding where I'm coming from a lot more. (Now, he reads this blog, so don't say anything mean.)

So, I've been kicked in the arse by Beth to write more, so I'm going to. I doubt very seriously that I'm going to talk about being pregnant much, at least for awhile. I'm tired, sick and I've got wicked gas--not much good reading there. I do have a couple of meme type posts to get caught up on, and I've got some other posts that have been kicking around in my head in the early morning hours. So, I'm going to try very hard to get back in the habit of writing. My problem is that I'm such a lurker. I never thought that I had anything very interesting to say.

I've got a worry that has been really bothering me, other than just the obvious worry of getting through the first trimester. Some of my family members and very good friends found out about this pregnancy through this blog. I feel bad about it. This time was just so weird though. I just couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone this time. I was happy to find out that I was pregnant again, but I'd say that excited wouldn't be the word for it. I just knew that as soon as I told people, I'd be calling them right back to tell them that I lost another one. I don't know. I'm so afraid that I've done irreversible damage to my friendships this past year. I've just been dealing with this the best way I know how, and obviously that's to pull away from everyone. I love my friends and I miss them. I just wanted to say that.

8 comments:

kate said...

Good to see you posting! I am happy to see you, just talk about the cat then, if you don't want to talk about the pg...

Re men, pregnancy, and mess -- a common source of disagreement in my house. I will say the worst thing i can -- all men deserve to come back in the next life as a WOMAN. Hah.

Aurelia said...

Tske it easy, take it slow, your first priority is the baby, not housework. Try doing little bits at a time, 15 minutes of work and 15 minutes of relaxing.

And as for telling friends and family, of course you're reticent, it's hard to put yourself out there, nervewracking to say the least. True friends will understand.

Kathy McC said...

First of all, I think gas is exciting. :-)

Seriously, you need to give yourself a break. Physically and emotionally. Do only what HAS to be done and accept any help you can get. And I am sure everyone understands your situation and why you haven't fit the "typical" step by step of announcing the pregnancy. You don't owe anyone anything. You only owe it to yourself to try and get through each day, one at a time. And if anyone is offended by that, then they are too self-centered to waste your time...

Artblog said...

Gas is good, surprising but good, It's a bit like nausea, its a good sign all is well :)

And don't talk to me about men, as my grandma always said, "Yes, yes, I've got the same at home"!

MB said...

The people who love you will understand. At least, I hope they will, because we haven't told anyone but family at this point. Well, and the whole internet. HA!

So, I'm with ya. I'm trying to think of posts that have nothing (or little) to do with my, ahem, condition, but, yeah, tough to do.

Oh, and if it makes you feel better, our dainty daughter took a crap in the downstairs toilet yesterday that clogged it and I shut the lid and the door and left it for when poor Jim got home. Cuz, I'm like that. I tried to plunge it, I swear.

And, I don't even want to HEAR about the dirty house. Yes, I'm home all day too. You'd think I'd have managed to get off my ass and put that load of laundry in the dryer that Jim washed on Sunday. Riiiight. Guess he'll be rewashing that next weekend!

Brenda said...

You take it nice and easy and don't worry about the house.
Stick your legs in the air I say!!!!

My husband wouldn't let me do ANYTHING when I was pg. No hanging out of washing, no shopping and he didn't even let me cook. He wanted to put me in bubble wrap for 9 months.
Now that we are in the 2ww again after Zak dying my husband has become Hitler!!!
If i stand for more than 15 min hes asking me if I should have a rest!!!! lol

Your friends (if real friends) will understand.
We have not even told most of our family we are doing another cycle and if we get pg we wont be telling anyone till after 12 weeks. If they read if on my blog then good luck to them, but they wont be hearing it from us!

Hugs hugs. I'm so happy for you.
xxx

delphi said...

I hope that those who have found out your news via this blog can be forgiving and understanding. I know I have done irreversible damage to some friendships in the past two years. It saddens me that I couldn't be the friend that they needed and that they couldn't be the friends that I needed. Irreconcilable differences would be the box we would check if it were a divorce, I guess. There are times where it is impossible to see the perspective of the other person. The hardest darn thing is letting those people go.

Go check my posts from July - they are about nausea and gas. Fun times. :)

B said...

I SERIOUSLY chuckled at this:

I turn around and see a even thinner John, standing there looking like a scarecrow and I almost throw up on the floor. (Which I was going to anyway, if I didn't get my bagel soon.)

I remember in my pregancy with Sam, my first one after my early loss, I prayed and prayed that I would be sick. 'Please God, just let me throw up already.' At 15 weeks, it was 'Please God, I really appreciate the sickness and all, but could you ease up on the dry heaves a bit? TIA.'

Isn't it amazing when you run into someone with whom you had so much of your 'old' self invested, and you're like, "What. The. Hell?" And the real kick in the ass is that most of the time, even though there's the super-sonic-speed film reel of 'Thank God I'm where I am,' blazing through my head, I always seem to wonder what he's thinking of me as he stares at me. Because EVERY time I've run into him, I'm two days past shower prime, and my extra weight isn't easily disguised with the five year old, holey digs I'm wearing. EVERY time.

Oh, and everything in the house can wait. You may have to kick a path to the fridge, but who gives a flying flip in the scheme of things? :)