Back from the doctor. Once again making that defeated walk down the hall to the exam room.
Here's the deal:
We can start trying again immediately. As in today, right after lunch if we want to. I asked, and yes, I could get pregnant before I have my first period. It would be pretty damn confusing when they ask when my last period was and I would say, umm July. But that is silly and it would have to just be tremendous luck because there is no way to even predict. But there's no harm in doin' it just for fun!
And he did kinda tell me who to call for counseling. I was hoping that he would have some specific names of people who might specialize in infant loss, since he was a high-risk OB and all. No, he just referred me to a place. Oh well. He scored so high with us in so many other areas, I'll let him slide on this one. I wouldn't have even known to call that place, so he helped a little.
So there's that. The rest is up to Mother Nature, I guess. I just want to get this over with. I just want to be pregnant and scared to death for 37 weeks and bring home a baby, for christssake. My sister and I were joking earlier that when and if this next kid ever gets here, he better not be a little jerk and pull stuff like, "You have to buy me that car, Mom, I'm a miracle baby!" Hmm.
I lost my baby son, Nathaniel, on February 3rd, 2006, four days after his birth. I'm a mommy in mourning and this is my pensieve.
About Me
- Laura
- I'm a 33 year old professional flutist married to an accountant and living in southern Missouri. I lost my son, Nate, to a placental abruption at 40 weeks. Hope was found and lost again with a miscarriage in September 2006. On October 18th, 2007, Nate's little brother,Ben, arrived safely. I'm learning to be a mom to two boys--one here and one there.
Love you, Natey.
My Daily Reads
- Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Blog Directory
- A Pregnancy After a Stillbirth ~ Monica
- Certainly Not Cool Enough to Blog~Kristin
- Dead Baby Jokes ~ Niobe
- Discovering Me~Michelle
- Eight Million Pieces~Delphi
- Everything is Under Control~Catherine
- Healing Arts~Artblog
- It's Really Me~BethGo
- Life After...~Nervous Kitty
- Life Can Be a Shit ~ Brenda
- Little Birdie
- The Mad Mommy
- Missing Speed Jr.~Emma's Mum
- Moksha~Rosepetal
- Natalie & Julian~Alysse
- Nicolas' Garden~Kate
- No Matter How Small~Aurelia Cotta
- No, I will never be "over" it~Julie
- Rach: The Wandering Blog
- Ryan Was Here~Sherry
- Spiraling Into Control~Bronwyn
- Subtle Shade of Green ~ Kathy McC
- Surviving My Loss~Sarah
- The Sensual Life ~ Roxanne
- Three Minute Palaver~Clare
- Trying to Have a Baby That Lives~WTF
8 comments:
Ok, i posted my comment to the previous one, while you were putting up this one!
I am glad your visit was, well, not as traumatic as it could have been.
If the counselling place doesn't have someone who fits the bill for you (see previous comment), you might call your insurance, they usually have big lists.
Off Topic: I really love your new ID photo - it is incredibly precious.
I hope the psychiatrist helps keep you away from Jackass.
A year and a half ago when I was desperate to talk to a therapist my doctor couldn't refer me to anyone either, and I have to say it pissed me off. I just lucked out and found a therapist myself and we clicked and it worked out really well. I hope the same happens for you. I found it very cathartic to talk to someone for an hour a week and not feel I had to *edit* any of the gory ugly details out, and to not be judged for my feelings and emotions.
Anyone I hope the "place" her referred you to can help.
Commence the baby making!
delurking here. i've read many of your posts but just didn't know what to say. how can it be that i don't know what to say after having two dead babies in one year and getting so mad at eveybody who doesn't know what to say? i know what NOT to say that's for sure.
That's not f**cking fair that's for sure. After surviving the death of your Nate, gracefully it seems to me, why would this happen? There's no rhyme or reason that's for sure.
Well, this is sort of good news, right? I'm glad the doc didn't suggest that you wait.
Didn't you say that there was a compassionate friends group in your area? (Or am I thinking of someone else...) If so, maybe give them a call and see if they can suggest a therapist.
Laura, I've been away and I've just read your last few posts. I'm so very sorry that you're going through losing Chip as well as Nate.
I was also angry with Moksha for a while, wondering how in the hell he could just leave like that. Then I felt guilty for being angry at my own dead child.
I hope you find a good therapist you can talk to. I don't feel like I really gel with mine and I'm thinking about changing.
I'm glad your doctor said you could try again right away and wish you luck - more of the good kind.
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