Tuesday, October 31, 2006

and more maternity clothes B.S.

Okay, one more post on this, and then I'll drop it. This is just so yucky, I can't get past it.

I got another message from the maternity clothes nazi. She wanted to know if I've found them yet and that she would also like her Pregnancy Week by Week back. And that she doesn't have the money to go and buy all new stuff. Oh, I'm very sorry. When she said that she needed them this winter, I didn't know that she was in such a hurry. I thought that I could at least have a week or two of wiggle room. Some people have told me not to send them at all and another said I should shit on them and put them in a garbage bag. (Okay, actually I thought that was pretty funny.)

I feel like since I told her that I would return them to her, I need to. But I really think that she should know that this isn't cool. My husband and I have decided that he would just drop them off on her porch (thus saving both postage and my feelings), but I wonder if I should just leave it at that. I am so mad and hurt. I haven't talked to her since right after Nate died, so I don't consider her a friend anymore, but still. I wrote this letter, but haven't sent it:

I was all sunshiny in my first response, but I really need for you to understand how difficult it is for me to even open a box of maternity clothes, much less sort through them. I fully intended to get those things back to you. I planned on doing it as soon as I was comfortably pregnant and emotionally able to go through baby stuff. However, in addition to mourning my son, I just had a really bad miscarriage. Yes, I know that you had no way of knowing that. I'm just not in the best place emotionally to deal with maternity clothes and other people's pregnancy announcements.
So, yes I will return those things to you. But just understand why I'm not in a hurry to do it. To be pushy about it is just cruel.


That may be totally writing a check that my ass can't cash. (She can be mean, and I am notoriously a huge weenie.) It think that it helped just writing that down. I'll probably just say--You'll have them this week. (piss off) Okay, maybe not that last thing. What would you say? Feel free to add to my letter.

14 comments:

MB said...

Dear Heartless Breeding Whore:

I was all sunshiny in my first response, but I really need for you to understand how difficult it is for me to even open a box of maternity clothes, much less sort through them. If you had a heart in your chest, you would understand that.

I fully intended to get those things back to you. I planned on doing it as soon as I was comfortably pregnant and emotionally able to go through baby stuff. However, in addition to mourning my son, I just had a really bad miscarriage. Which if you had the human decency to call or contact me, you would have known. Yes, I know that you had no way of knowing that; see last sentence...you didn't call, remember?
I'm just not in the best place emotionally to deal with maternity clothes and other people's pregnancy announcements. In a word (okay, two words) piss off.

So, yes I will return those things to you. But just understand why I'm not in a hurry to do it. To be pushy about it is just cruel, bitchy, unkind, mean, disgusting and inhuman.

Feel free to never call or contact me again.

Love and hugs,
Laura

Catherine said...

I think we have a winner!

Laura said...

Michelle, I have a crush on you.

MB said...

wink, wink...

Give her my e-mail address. I'll take care of her. I have all this pent-up anger to get out anyway...

BethGo said...

I was seething as I read this update but mb has made me laugh with her excellent revision of your letter so I've calmed a bit.
What a horrid, horrid woman.
You do what you need to do. We've all got your back.
*hugs*

Kathy McC said...

Maybe we could help her "fall down" a few times on the way to pick up the clothes. Did I just say that out loud just now??

KTP said...

I would say send the letter. But she must be really broke or something to be pushing the issue with you. I can't imagine how anyone would be asking you for them back in the first place. Couldn't she have called you? I mean, email is so impersonal. You could totally ignore her if you want to. That would send a nice clear message.

Rosepetal said...

It does help, writing these letters to insensitive ex-friends out! She definitely could have send you a card or a called you to ask for those clothes back. The call should have started with questions about how you are. Even the email could have done that.

My ex-friend (who doesn't realise that she's an ex-friend but is slowly getting there) left me messages all about herself and how hard juggling job and motherhood is. Yes, those are facts - I don't dispute them - but I reserve the right to think she is an insensitive b*tch for talking to me about it in her first message for twelve weeks.

In the end I didn't send my heated email to her - I sent her a text message saying "Got your messages. Thanks". I don't want to be friends with her anymore (that sounds so 8-year old childish but there it is) and so I don't have to give myself the additional stress of opening up conversation with her. Thankfully she has stopped bothering me.

The plan of dumping the clothes (minus the shit - I don't know you but you shitting on her clothes isn't an image I can conjure up - although you have a dog, right?)on her porch sounds like a good one.

three minute palaver said...

What a disgusting woman to be harrassing you about some hand-me-down clothes. I love Michelles version of your letter, now go on and SEND IT ASAP! She really needs a reality check and that letter is it ! and I love the plan of getting Tom to dump everything on her porch without conversation or courtesy is simply brilliant. Put her back in her shitty place once and for all.

kate said...

Michelle's version beats mine, i say GO with it!!

R said...

I would say this, Laura...

I know most of the world has a pregnancy that ends in a happy, live birth and a baby to take home, but I had to say goodbye to my son 4 days after he was born. I know you can't possibly know how hard that was, but I DO want you to know that hearing you push and push about needing your maternity clothes back opens that wound yet again.

Also, it's sort of the cluelessness, too. I mailed Catherine's doppler back to her after I used it...like she'd really want to see it again. Sometimes people who haven't been through it just don't "GET" IT. It's that simple. Later I realized had I been through what she had I would have wanted to smash the damn thing to smithereens, and I apologized.

If you don't get an apology from this friend, the friendship should be over. It seems sort of odd - ok, really odd that she would be so pushy. Were I in your shoes I think I would write exaactly what MB wrote. I think there's a point where you're beyond caring what others think of you.

Has she even asked how you're doing, asked about your memories of Nate? I'm guessing no.

That, in a word, is shitty. NOT the kind of person you need.

msfitzita said...

I think your letter is perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. Michelle's response is pretty darn good too. Either one should do the trick.

My only other thought is that if she wants her stuff back so badly, why can't she come and get it from you?? Why should you have to do the road work? Leave it all in a box on your porch and tell her it's there.

But make sure it's a really cold, rainy, miserable day.

Heh heh heh

whatthef*ck said...

i though that she knew about the miscarriage. i wanted to put a hit on her when i thought she knew that you just had another disaster and was being such an a-hole. but she is still an a-hole because of how she handled it and because she hasnt bothered to call you.

i would add something to the letter about how it would've been nice if she asked about how you were doing and acknowledged the awkwardness of her request. that would've been so simple to put in an email. i can't fathom why she wouldn't be more considerate. who would treat a total stranger this way, let alone a friend? i simply don't get it.

Jill said...

OK, I would like to think that I would send your original email and then the email a friend who bothers with you helped with and then do what Kristin says and let her know her stuff is on the porch. Come and get it biotch.

Think back before it all went wrong - was she always a little strange anyway? A little self absorbed maybe? You shouldn't have to deal with this. Sorry:(